Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
