I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
