Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
