Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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