just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
