You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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