You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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