You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize