around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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