After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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