he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize