Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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