What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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