i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
