Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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