i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
