i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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