Plan B is the new Plan A
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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