When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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