why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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