did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
