Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
