She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize