And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
