I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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