You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
