Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
