And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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