I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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