Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
