U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
