i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
