I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
