I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
