its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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