You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
