How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
