The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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