Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think people are normalizing furries
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
