My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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