i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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