Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
