i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
