***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
