Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize