he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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