It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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