so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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