Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
