You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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