Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
