My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
