"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
