i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
