we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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