she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
