He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
