i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We got so high we made milksteak
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize