For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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