it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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