I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just made my gag reflex go away.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
