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After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
