I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize