oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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