Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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