ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize