At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
