I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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