Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
