She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
