just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize