i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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