Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
