508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
