Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
